


This Ignition Between Us

by Thevaen



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Alvin is incompetent with feelings, Groping, Jude only slightly less, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 00:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11047353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thevaen/pseuds/Thevaen
Summary: It's not uncommon knowledge that Alvin is not always the best at dealing with the sensitive side of the human body. One might say it was quite the opposite.He loathes these gut wrenching nerves that nestle inside of him and crawl over his skin. They render his mind completely immobile, incapable of anything else but feel what they do to him. What Jude does to him. What he does to Jude and what that does to him. He’s creating a mess and all he can seem to do is sit there in the middle of it.Or, he can kiss him.





	This Ignition Between Us

The first few times betrayal came easy. It was a second nature to him, and he had long since learned to not give a damn about what the involved parties felt or thought. But that was before Jude happened.  

It was ridiculous really, to have a kid influence his way of thinking so much. A goody two shoes, a young man that tried too hard to help everyone. A young man that looked innocent and shy but would tell you exactly what he thought and could crack your skull with one punch. Maybe it's because he's constantly surprising him that Alvin feels a pull to him. The need to stay close and see what happens when _this one_ breaks.  

But he doesn't break. He keeps staring Alvin dead in the eyes when he tells him not to do it again, or that he forgives him. Every single time. And over time the pull becomes something more, and it scares him, so he pulls away. He gets rougher, betrays them again. And the next time, Jude looks hurt.  

He sees. Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice asks if he even cares.   
   
He cares so fucking much. And he hates it.   
   
He loathes these gut wrenching nerves that nestle inside of him and crawl over his skin. They render his mind completely immobile, incapable of anything else but feel what they do to him. What Jude does to him. What he does to Jude and what _that_ does to him. He’s creating a mess and all he can seem to do is sit there in the middle of it.   
   
He tries to avoid Jude whenever he can, but in the field or on the road it’s hardly possible. They are compatible in battle alone it seems. When they link he does feel better, for the time being. Jude’s energy and trust in him are almost palpable from the energy that surges between them when they link, and it helps. On the road he can forget, can pretend and set aside this gnawing and instead indulge in jokes and adrenaline. He can throw his arm around Jude's shoulder without the feeling of guilt settling in his gut, and instead feel a different feeling entirely when Jude smiles at his antics.    
   
But when they step inside an Inn or set up camp and the silence settles, he can’t. His watches are the worst. His eyes drift towards Jude’s sleeping form more often than he’d like and every time it happens the almost painful feeling takes over his guts.    
   
But Alvin makes one mistake.   
   
In all his wallowing he assumes that his view on Jude is correct; that the boy is too naïve to see past him and too easy to forgive whenever he shows.    
   
Jude however, sees too.    
   
It's not just because they match so well in battle that he continuously links with Alvin. Where Alvin feels the peace, Jude feels the fear. He feels the anxiety and nerves that he catches glimpses of during the day. To contrary belief, he is perceptive of things more than just those with scientific value.    
   
And despite the often pessimistic feeling he sees and feels coming from Alvin, he also feels all that ebb away, even if only for a while, whenever they interact more directly. So he keeps linking, keeps close, keeps invading his space. He will stand close enough so that when the opportunity arises Alvin can throw his arm around his neck and jest. He will extend and link before there's even the possibility to consider linking with anyone else. He will smile and stare and _care,_ because just like Alvin he does.     
   
It's over time, and the realization that he does comes sudden, that he does it for himself more than for Alvin. It's quite selfish, and he keeps thinking he does it to understand and learn about Alvin, to decrease the odds of him betraying them ever again. In the back of his mind he knows better though. He wants to be close, wants Alvin to pull him into an almost awkward hug and yearns for every second that those touches linger.  His gaze no longer lingers to find out if there is more hiding behind the grin Alvin flashes them. Instead they linger on the sharp contours of his face and the slight stubble on his jawline.  Sometimes Alvin catches his lingering gaze and winks at him. He never knows how to interpret those.    
 

Both of them have become invested in the other, for reasons both different and similar. There are several kind of tensions palpable between them, some more intimate than others, some bolder and others more cautious. They show in jokes and lingering gazes, and in touches that last just a bit too long for them to be entirely platonic. If the others notice they don't comment on it, but so far it seems only Rowen would be sensible enough to see it all.    
   
The tension had been building for a long time after all.   
   
It's a warm day in Xian Du. They are all tired, sweaty and to some extent moody. The girls find a way to relax and lift their spirits by going into town to see if they can find something lighter to wear, and Alvin is too grateful for the moment of peace and quiet to remind them that it's hard to bring anything with them on this journey. The Inn too is hot and clammy, possibly even hotter than outside, and Rowen soon grows restless and decides to go after the females in their group.    
   
This would leave Alvin and Jude in the company of each other, but Alvin can't deal with the tension and his thoughts, not now. So he flees, goes to see his mother. He talks to her, about the road behind and ahead, about Milla and Jude, but mostly Jude. As far as she knows he is a cat, and he wished he wouldn't have lied about it, that he was able to tell everything and nothing at the same time. The heat and exhaustion is taking its toll, and he is unable to put his thoughts together, let alone into words. So he leaves her after placing a soft kiss on her forehead.    
   
When he pulls the door closed behind him he sighs and leans forward, resting his head against the door. Even the wood feels cool against his skin.    
   
''Alvin?''   
   
He jumps and whirls around, inwardly wincing at the painful scrape of wood against skin, before pulling up his usual expression of casual in persona. 

''Jude! Miss me already?''   
   
Jude eyes him, stays silent for a while, but then he too smiles. It's a fake smile, Alvin recognizes- from his own experience in using them. He decides that he hates seeing those on Jude's lips. 

''I didn't notice you leaving, just checking where you were.''    
   
Alvin doesn't know what to say. It seems Jude doesn't either, because an awkward silence settles between them, and Jude shifts on his feet.    
   
''So uh...'' Alvin scratches the back of his head. '' I was planning on going to my secret spot, wanna come along?'' He winks at Jude. 

He intended to scare the kid away. To have him blush and politely decline so he would be alone again.  

It's unsettling when Jude doesn't immediately respond. He stares at Alvin, and while there is a hint at a blush, it's not as intense as Alvin's used to. He looks Alvin in the eyes, unwavering, before he speaks. ''Sure.''   
   
Alvin hesitates, shock visible just a bare second before he recovers. ''Well okay then kid, let's go.''   
He slings an arm around Jude's shoulder as he guides him back to the Inn. Jude fingers curl around his arm. To remove it from his shoulders he assumes. And Jude starts, he clenches and lifts his arm, but just for second, and suddenly he lets it rest on his shoulder again, and he doesn't remove his hand.   
   
Alvin feels the urge to make a joke- out of habit, to deceive himself more than Jude. He wants to distract himself from the feeling in his gut and the giddy feeling that threatens to surface.   
   
He picks up his sword in their room before he gestures Jude to follow him back outside. But instead of going out of the city and into dangerous territory they enter a different building. There's a desk, and a lady, older than Alvin but youthful nonetheless. Alvin smiles and winks at her, and she blushes and opens a desk drawer. From it she pulls a key, and when Alvin takes it from her Jude feels a nasty jab of pain in his chest when their hands touch. They seem familiar with each other, and he hates it. 

He follows Alvin less curious than before. Alvin unlocks a door hidden in a corner, and it leads to a small elevator. Meant for cargo, Jude assumes. But it's small in every sense of the word, and the only way Alvin, he, and Alvin's sword fit in there is with them close enough for Jude to have Alvin's scarf brush his face. He can smell Alvin's cologne on it, and he resists the urge to press his face closer against the fabric. The stab of jealousy is forgotten, and he can only be aware of the tingling sensation in his gut and the way his finger just twitched with the need to brush Alvin's hand the next time the elevator gives a jittery shake.    
   
''Why did you bring your sword?'' He asks. He needs distraction.   
   
''Ah, somehow she won't let me go here without. Tried it a few times and she just ignores me. My guess is that she has a thing for big swords.'' He winks at Jude.   
   
Jude blushes, but Alvin instantly sees his joke doesn't sit well. He doesn't know what else to say, and he's glad when the doors open.    
   
''This way.'' He beckons, and Jude follows. 

They go through a small hallway, no windows. It's dark and musky, and Jude can't possibly phantom  it can lead anywhere good anyplace good. Alvin takes the key given to him and jams in it an old rusty door, and he needs to use his weight to get the handle down.  

When it opens, Jude takes back words. 

There's a perfect view of the city from where they find themselves. As Jude steps outside and looks around it's immediately clear they're on a balcony of one of the tallest buildings. The building goes on just a small floor higher than they are, but it gives them just that bit of shade that makes it pleasant in the dry hot sun. There's a breeze stronger than below that tousles his hair, and it cools the skin that feels damp with sweat.  Alvin walks ahead. He leans on the railing and looks down below, and Jude takes of the spot next to him.   
   
They're high, but he can still make out the different colours on the monsters and clothes, and it makes it that much more beautiful than if they'd been above the highest building. The sound of busy streets is nothing more than a muffle, as the sound gets carried away by the wind. It's peaceful, beautiful, isolated.  

''I can see why you like to come here.'' Jude breathes.  

''Hmm'' Alvin nods his head. ''There are a few people who know how to get here, and fewer people who have access. Aisha's mother used to take my mom and me here when I was little.''

''Aisha?''  

''The girl below. She's a few years older than me, though she doesn't look like it. I get a free pass.'' 

''Oh.'' Jude feels embarrassed about his own petty jealousy.  ''But then why bring the sword?'' 

Alvin shrugs. ''It's easy to lose track of time and I don't like leaving it, even if it's in safe hands.'' 

''Understandable.'' 

A silence settles, although not entirely uncomfortable. They lean on the railing, watch the streets below. And Alvin watches Jude.  

He's gorgeous, in a way. The hand that he's leaning on is calloused and not as soft as his face, but he knows the power behind them and somehow that makes them even better suited to Jude. The wind plays with the black strands framing his face. It's gotten long, too long, and Jude has to continuously tuck it back if he wants to keep the hair out of his eyes. He tries to blow the hair back, but a breath is not match for a strong wind and it does nothing except briefly make him look cross eyed. He catches Alvin's gaze, and a slight blush starts to colour his cheeks as he mutters that Alvin didn't see that. Everything about them being here pulls his gaze and want to Jude and nothing but Jude, and Alvin wants nothing more than to wrap his arm around Jude's shoulder, have Jude's hand clenching his arm again. But he doesn't. 

It’s impulsive when he leans down and kisses Jude. In the split second that follows he feels too many things. The softness of his lips and the surprise in Jude’s posture, the hand that shoots up to grab his sleeve out of surprise and the hitching of Jude's breath. The smell of desert and the sound of his sword hitting the ground. Jude gasps, and squeezes Alvin's arms tighter. But he doesn't let go. Doesn't pull away. 

And Alvin can't stop anymore. 

He pours everything into his kiss. There's too much riding on this. It's a one time chance, and most likely it will still blow up in his face. But this is how Alvin does things. He lets it build up and up until he can't take it anymore and lets it all erupt into a single action.   

Both hands cup Jude's face. He pulls him closer, gentler than he's ever held a person because he _can't_ risk rushing this and chasing him off.  He moves his lips, slowly but firmly, because this isn't just a quick kiss. All of his feelings he couldn't sort or understand probably find a way of their own, and suddenly it's clear, and all his passion and love and adoration for this _kid_ , this damned kid, come out through lips instead of words and thoughts.   

And it's wonderful, because Jude answers.  

He kisses Alvin back, awkwardly so, because he doesn't know how and what to do. He's overwhelmed by the sudden contact, but it sparks a reaction similar to Alvin's, and suddenly he just doesn't want to think anymore. So he kisses back, holds on to Alvin for dear life and struggles to find the balance between breathing and kissing that Alvin makes seem so easy.  

Alvin runs his fingers through Jude's hair, clasps the back of his neck. He sharply inhales through his nose every chance he get because when he really breaks away this will be over, and he'll have to deal with the aftermath.  

It is Alvin who pulls back, but not completely. He presses his forehead against Jude's. Keeps his eyes closed because he doesn't want to see the look on his face just yet. He is not used to feeling vulnerable, and it's a horrid, terribly uncomfortable feeling. But he steels himself and doesn't completely break contact. His hand is nestled in the nape of Jude's neck, where his thumb gently strokes his jaw.  He opens his eyes and lets out a shaky breath- another horrible feeling.   
   
''So.'' He says. Nothing follows. He can't come up with a joke that can diffuse the tension, not this time.  

Jude only nods. His hands are still clutching the front of Alvin's jacket, and he's playing with the fabric. He doesn't want to let go quite yet. But neither really knows what to do, so more time passes as they stand like this.     
   
''I...'' Alvin starts. ''I'm sorry if-.''    
 

Jude shakes his head. ''You didn't.'' 

He doesn't even need to say it. To emphasize Jude shuffles closer, slowly and shyly, but he does it. He really did mean to kiss back, and as he looks up Alvin sees a fire he's not often seen in his eyes. He's confident but searching for something. No, not searching...asking maybe, daring even. _Kiss me again. I'll prove it._ He knows that moment that Jude wants this as much as he does, consequences be damned. 

There's a spark to the kiss that feels like fire on skin. He's not longer cautious. Soft touches are now desperate, fuelled by the knowledge that he can, that Jude is grasping at him just as fervently. He pulls back briefly, trying not to get too distracted by the soft sound of protest Jude makes. He wraps his arms around him and lifts him, and Jude is forced to wrap his legs around his waist and hold on to his shoulder. The hairs on his neck stand up right and he wants to crane his head back at the ticklish sensation of Jude's fingers twitching against the back of his neck as he holds on. 

Jude lips feel so good on his. He groans into the kiss as Jude tentatively opens his mouth just a bit, just enough to feel his hot breath on his skin. He darts his tongue over his lips in a quick stroke, and he hears Jude's breathing hitch in his throat. So he does it again, with more confidence now, and Jude lets him. He groans into the kiss, a low rumble that makes a heat pool in Jude's gut and pulls a sound of his own from him.  

The moan Jude emits goes straight to Alvin's core, and he feels ecstatic. He feels stronger than he has in months. Clearer. Happier.  

He steps forward until Jude's back hits the wall. They break apart, but Alvin wastes no time, can't stand not having his lips on him. He nudges Jude's head to the side with his nose and presses his lip against the skin of his neck. Jude lets out a shaky sigh. When Alvin gently bites down he moans, and the hand that ran through Alvin's hair clenches into a fist. Alvin smiles against his skin, he squeezes where he's holding Jude up, just where his thighs round into his bottom. Jude clenches his leg tighter, and for just a moment they grind together.   
   
It becomes too much, for the both of them. They break apart, and Alvin only realizes his legs have been shaking when Jude untangles from him. They're panting, and they laugh, and Alvin pulls Jude's face up for one more kiss. His hair is tousled, and there's a scarlet colour on his cheeks, but he smiles up at Alvin, and the whole picture creates a flutter in his chest he's not used to.  

''That good huh?'' He manages to wink at Jude, and like that the little bit of tension there was flows away. Jude laughs. 

''Yes.'' 

Alvin slings an arm around his shoulder and pulls him back to the railing. They stand beside each other, watching over the city with a new sense of appreciation. Jude sneaks his hand to his, slipping just one finger between his first as if asking for permission. Alvin immediately takes his whole hand. 

''Think we should go down soon?'' 

''Hmm.'' Alvin hums. ''Probably...'' 

Jude looks at him. ''But?'' 

Briefly there's a hint of embarrassment in Alvin's expression. He looks away, but Jude sees the tip of his ears seem just a tad redder than usual.  

''Let's just say walking is very uncomfortable right now, and these clothes are more revealing than they seem.'' 

Jude laughs, and Alvin looks at him again and flashes a grin. Jude smiles, a smile full of happiness and satisfaction, and again Alvin feels a flutter in his chest . They decide not to go back for as long as they want. To take this moment to themselves. 

They talk for a long time. About nothing and everything, and all in between. Alvin eventually starts with and attempt at explaining his thoughts, but Jude soon stops him with a laugh, because he's failing horribly, but he's blushing, and a blushing Alvin is a sight he's not used to. It is what it is he tells him, and this time he leans in to kiss Alvin. They end up not going back until twilight, when the sky glows red and the temperature has dropped enough to leave goose bumps on their skin.  

Neither of them is sure what will happen now, how the dynamic in the group might change. But as Alvin walks in holding Jude by the hand, and Jude clenches his just at tightly, neither of them cares.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this!  
> PLEASE point out any grammar and spelling errors you may find. Kudos and comments are also heavily appreciated!


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